The clock will tick; that isn't the game

I recently took a Myers-Briggs personality test and discovered that I am an INTJ](https://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality "INTJ") personality type - Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging. While these traits may be the core of my personality, other subtler aspects will likely change over time as I grow and gain experience.

Through the Rabbit Hole🔗

I've always considered myself to be overly rational compared to those around me. Don't get me wrong; I do have emotions, but they often take a back seat to my analytical mind. My default mode is a quiet state of mind, where I'm always thinking about my future plans and what I have to do to achieve them. I observe and analyze people's thoughts, words, and actions in great detail, trying to understand the workings of the world and why it operates as it does. It took significant effort to learn to embrace my feelings more fully. Growing up, we are constantly evolving and adapting our thought processes; we should never settle for our initial perspectives, nor should we settle for a comfortable ones (just because of this specific trait). However, the mind can be deceptive, and even though we may think we are in control of our motivations, we often find ourselves being tricked by our primitive brain. Our cerebellum has evolved over millions of years, while the pre-frontal cortex – the part of the brain that sets us apart as Homo Sapiens Sapiens – is still relatively new. While we may believe we are always making decisions based on rationality, our ancient brain tries to protect us by shielding us from harsh realities - definitely a survival mechanism. Despite always believing in the superiority of rationality over emotionality, this couldn't be further from the truth. I chose to ramp up my rational side and tune down the feelings I experienced. This characteristic does make a great robot - I'm sure you wouldn't buy a Roomba that, instead of vacuuming, preferred to hit continuously against a wall while giving out crying shouts. Unfortunately, this doesn't make you the best partner, friend, brother, or son. It made me tune out of real, heartfelt experiences and kept me in a bubble. Crying, mourning, and lamenting – although painful at the time – are our lifelines, and we must use them. Above all, this behavior led me to feel like I was living a focused and objective life at a breakneck pace. My days felt short, and I looked back on my life with disdain for anything that wasted my time and, therefore, my life. In hindsight, I was the bigger culprit. When we allow ourselves to experience our emotions fully, time seems to slow down, and we become more connected to the world around us. Our lives are no longer two-dimensional.

The Sunrise is More Than Just the Sun Rising🔗

The world moves quickly, and it can be easy to get caught up in its pace. It feels like the world is working against you, always urging you to study more or do more. It's the only way. Time goes as fast as we allow it to. We are in control, so we should act accordingly. Days seem long if they are eventful; do do years if remarkable. There is a delicate balance between being present living and living in our thoughts. Only the former is reality, and we must strive to mold it into the latter, while never losing sight of that third dimension that makes life more than just a figment of imagination.

PS: This essay wasn't intended to be about this, I guess I just had to let it out.